Has the choice already been made for me?

the hunt continues...but how not to feel that the guy up there is trying to tell me something when i got this via email today....

how suay can one person be....i wanted that job...sounded so good...sigh...i shld have known when i checked out the company website and the pdts and services were completely different from what was specified in the ad...stupid stupid me...

the guy up there is either telling me that i should give up the hope of ever finding a good job...or that my destiny is to be stuck with this bunch that will slowly but surely drive me insane??

Eeeny Meeny Mynee Mo...Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I know this has been a pretty hot topic of late...

It is rather difficult to decide as, seriously, who can be sure of what's gonna happen in the future? If someone out there does..pls, forget answering my above question...just tell me what's the winning number for the saturday lottery thanks!

I can't believe I am finding it so hard to make up my mind...I am usually quite decisive...not that I make really good decisions all the time...but hey, I rather not waste time thinking...just do it lah...won't kill me!

So here I am after..hmm...2 weeks?...and I am still thinking...very irritating you know...this feeling of not being able to make up my mind...so...let's do a poll shall we?

Just one small request folks...as this is quite an important thing to me...please read what I have to say first and then give me a response...and no, I wld prefer if it's not a simple yes/no answer...pls try and convince me...coz I really need a very good PUSH or PULL...

Ok here goes...

This is what I have come up with so far:

Scenario 1 - I should stay because....
1) This is a proper marketing role...varied tasks with lots of room to grow...great on my CV
2) It has only been less than 6 months..I should give this company/job another shot...don't give up easily
3) Direct Manager seems to be trying to re-define my role...make me feel more confortable
4) The pay is not fantastic but still great...even if I an unhappy, at least I have my pay
5) Colleagues are great
6) The new job that I found is good but not great..not even a marketing role...

Scenario 2 - I should leave because....
1) These variety of tasks put together is quite an unreasonable work load..mgt also have their unreasonable expectations (ie: don't give me directions but expect me to know what they are looking for...am I GOD?)
2) Quite a few things have happened recently that made me doubt myself...whether or not I am right to doubt my abilities...to me, the damage is kinda done...confidence levels are pretty low at the moment
3) The efforts of the Manager just made me more inclined to believe he thinks I don't take enough initiatives...so again, I feel pretty down and I don't feel like asking him abt the issue...
4) I found another job that potentially can pay me the same..different industry, different role...whole new attraction all together
5) one person that although we can be friends..I cannot work with...quite an obnoxious character...
6) New job may open the door to a new career path

I know there is always "scenario 3"...that is wait for a good marketing job to come along..then no qualms abt jumping ship right? hahah...easily said than done...but don't worry..I have begun the hunt...and still hunting...

The above 2 scenarios are pertinent only to my situation NOW....that might change...but who knows when...

Any comments would be welcomed and considered.. :)

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Post note 1

haha..just suddenly remembered another reason to add to Scenario 1...as stupid as it may sound...you guys dunno ok...i am scared of serving the one month notice...can be so eaten alive...

tho I mus say if I do tender...i will try to get them to let me serve 2 wks instead..since I get paid every 2 wks anyways..so dun have to wait till month end...

Entry 3

Blogs .. as we have established, it's not fresh and young ... it's just become older bolder and more in your face and hangs around like a bad smell... much like old men ...

Why is it that when people get old they get annoying, weird and impudent? Like this nutter beside me on the plane .... must be in his late 60's ... normally a person would feel rather pai-seh to get up and down in the plane to get shit from the overhead locker ... but noooo ... old people don't give a shit about what others think now do they?

This trip to Bali, contrary to everyone's belief, was a working trip.

This was my office:

It was really hard ... the accommodations were appalling:

I mean seriously! what's with all that water just outside the balcony?

The mine site itself was in a remote area (try middle of nowhere) only accessible by company seaplane ... the trip was long and arduous ... and there was nothing much to see on the way in:

The mine site itself? well it was pretty big ...

err...actually.....

And all we had were seafood restaurants ... man ... shocking really ...

So after 5 days of hard labour, it's back to Bali enroute back to Perth ...

I really need to talk to my boss .... the poor treatment is simply unacceptable ... i'm threatening class action ...

Due to this injustice, I've decided to thumb my nose at company policy ... smuggling "fan ban" dvds, 400 cigarettes and 10 indonesian cigars!! Can you imagine what they are worth in the black market over here?

Anyway ... blogging sucks ... piss off! I'm a fat, tired and angry old man and I can say what I like ...

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Let's talk about Happy Things

Ok, let me first start off with something not so happy...Mere is away for a week in Bali...I know, how dare he leave me with my shitty job right? haha...but it's ok lah...he is not holidaying but on work training...and he has promised to buy me stuff!! He'll be back with pictures I'm sure...we've just bought a new camera...Also, now that he is away the comp is all mine....hahahah

It's not like I am totally fine at work...But yah, I know I should not dwell on it...so, let's talk about happy things...I must say I have had a couple of good weekends...much deserved I reckon...for all the crappiness that I have to put up with during work...

2 weekends ago, I met up with my cousin Patricia...she was here on a short holiday and wanted to meet up coz my aunty had something to pass to me...guess what folks...the gift couldn't be any timelier...I now have 7 new serials to watch!! If each serial averages around 30 episodes, with each episode being roughly 45 mins...do you know that equates to 9450 mins worth of vegging out in front of the TV???? Super Cool!

No lah, dun be crazy...you think I am like when I was 20 meh? I am getting old plus I still have to drive myself to work every morning...I wun finish watching them all till probably next year...I just finished a 40-episode serial recently...took me a grand total of 1 month...is that slow or what...very unlike me isn't it?

Sorry, I got to digress, that SHOW is one of the best recent serials I have watched!!

And just on Saturday Mere and I went to the City to get our new camera...the ancient digital camera we have has decided he wanted to retire...understandable...he was like the first generation digital camera...so we unashamedly, with his blessings, upgraded to a hotter, younger model...

Since Mere had an outbound ticket to Bali, we could buy the camera at the duty-free store...cheaper mah...anyway it's not the camera I want to rave about...it's the fact that it cost only $320 and yet it came with a free return ticket to Adelaide! How great is that? I know alot of pple think that Adelaide is like the slums or something...but having been there 3 times...I can honestly say, there is a lot more happening there than right here in Perth...so, I really look forward to going back there again...this time with a new camera and a blog...I'll be able to share Adelaide with you guys... :)

Oh yah, and also my MIL came back from Singapore on Saturday nite...and up till then I was still using a camera-less, mp3-less, colour-less mobile phone....I am now a proud owner of a daddy-sponsored, brand-new mobile phone...yay!!

Pls...I haven changed my phone for the last 5 years...so let this sua-ku wallow in her excitement for a while longer ok?

I'm soooo over it

I am so over it...I have spent weeks thinking left, right and centre about what should I do with my job...

Something happened on Friday (I HATE you) which caused me to make up my mind on a few things...I have come to the following conclusions:

A) The job is not for me/I am not up to the challenge/My skills are not those that are required
B) The company is shit/The bosses are shit/Not my fault

Whichever is correct...it doesn't matter anymore...much that I want to stay...I think it is time to leave before things become uglier...

thank you jason...you made me realised it doesn't matter if A or B is the truth..it is a simple case of incompatibility btw me and the job...hence time to put a stop to all this (sis, it's time to type your resignation letter!)

so back to the drawing board...I have to re-evaluate what I wanna do and make sure I have the appropriate skills and qualifications to match...

I'm so tired...just want to be happy...why is it so hard?

Catching Up

The plan started with Naz msning me two weeks ago...Naz wanted to take me out to lunch on the new company credit card she got (damn, how come I never got a credit card while I was at Surpac!?)..for the help I gave her for the June maintenance run...

I really didn't want to be paid for the "help"...I mean, I did it really just coz I will feel bad if it fucks itself over...so anyway...I just told her why not we go for drinks...no need for the company to foot the tab...

Then it turns out that Jared was leaving Surpac too (ok, I should stop saying Surpac...they are with the commies now) so I asked Jared if he wld like to come to drinks with us (ie: Naz, Mere & Me)....from there I found out that 2 other ex-colleagues were leaving too...total mass exodus...

Long story short...their farewell drinks were organised on the same day as the drinks I was organising...so of course Jared cldn't come by himself...more ex-colleagues were invited...I booked a table for 12 but it ended up with only 6 of us...pretty embarassing...


Tho only 6 of us...but it was the "right" group of us...It felt so nice to see everyone again....I missed you all!!!

You know, I think the mass exodus wouldn't have happened...had it not been for the commies...Surpac was really a fabulous place to work at...great colleagues...wonderful bosses who were not overly controlling...beer o'clock at 4pm every friday...etc...

I can keep going with how great Surpac was...I know I chose to left...but I had no choice...

I had to leave coz I was seriously getting pissed off with our overseas offices (shall not name countries here) and the fact that there was no career future for me at Surpac...marketing was all controlled by head office in Vancouver...

Drinks tonight really have sparked off a whole lot more job/career/money related issues for me...I am unhappy at my current job...but I dunno what to do about it...

If I leave:

1. Does that mean I was "wrong" to leave Surpac?
2. Does that mean that I was not ready for the new job in the first place?
3. Does that mean I am a loser coz I didn't try hard enough at my current job?
4. Does it mean that a marketing role is just not my cup of tea (the horror!)

BUT the million dollar question is: will leaving actually make me happy?

How do I know if I will be happy in the next job I take up? Do I want to continue in a Marketing role? Did I bite off more than I could chew when I took up this job that offered me more money (more money = more responsibilities?)?

I think just let me grovel over this somemore...hopefully I can get a clearer perspective on what I want to do with myself sooner rather than later...

And just in case anyone is wondering...no,quit working altogether is not an option...tho supported by Mere...but I don't think I can do it...for now anyway...

More money spent...

This weekend has surely turned out to be one of the most expensive yet...

Weeks ago, I read that there was going to be a Truffles Festival in Perth...being such a foodie...I asked Mere if he was interested to go with me and have a look...it's not too far a drive...only about 30 mins away...

There was going to be some cooking classes, talks by world-class chefs, food tasting and even a demonstration of truffles-sniffing dogs..but what I was most interested in was the Produce Market...

Look, I didn't go with much expectations...as we have been disappointed by a lot of such markets already...I knew exactly what to expect...the usual assortment of stalls selling honey, jams, pickles and olive oil...granted u can't get these in your normal supermarkets coz they are directly from the farms and small businesses...but still, it gets boring after a while...

The Produce Market was exactly as I described...BUT I was there on a mission...I wanted to get a bottle of truffle oil...

Disappointingly, there was only 1 stall selling truffle oil...can u believe that? I mean, this is a truffle festival for god's sake! I am happy for the other stalls to carry on selling their non-truffle related goods, but hey, didn't the organisers think of getting more relevant businesses involved?

Anyway, we did a bit of tasting before going ahead with our purchase...it was decent, not fantastic :(

and it wasn't all free tasting by the way, tho I can understand...these truffles are $200 per gram...

All we had were:
A slice of hazelnut bread with truffle butter - $2
A slice of bread with brie cheese & truffles - $5
A cube-sized New Norcia Nut Bread - Free
A tiny piece of bread dipped in truffle oil - Free

A little disappointed I didn't get to try the soft-boiled egg with truffle shavings...all sold out by the time I got there...

So, I got my bottle of truffle oil for $30 and we simply trudged home...I still can't believe all it takes to flavour the entire bottle of oil is one tiny slice of truffle...maybe half the size of a 5c piece...

Yes folks, the little black speck you see on the bottom left...that's what all the fuss is about...Let's hope that tiny slice does its magic...I'll let you all know if the oil is really worth its weight in gold...

On a happier note, Mere and I can look forward to a freebie on Wednesday...as a job perk...I occasionally get free tickets for movie premiers organised by the radio station that my company advertises with...last time it was Fantastic Four 2, now it's Die Hard 4.0...let's face it, this movie is more for Mere than me...but at least Maggie Q is going to be in it...I'll just eat my popcorn and shut-up...

Saturday Shopping Spree

This morning started good enough...with a headache from last night's farewell drinks with Carly at the Queen's subsiding almost immediately with two Advils...but I still had to get up at 8am to get ready for a doctor's appointment...

It's such a pain going to my doc's...it's all the way back into the city...as if I don't go there often enough...I know I work in the bloody city, but there's not enough time during lunch to see the doc ok? Anyways, just needed to go there and confirm if my skin aliment was indeed turning me into a walking mushroom farm, or it's something else...turns out nothing was wrong except for a really serious case of dryness...so no more hot showers for me..and I have to use those non-commercial body lotions...damnit...

Hence after a nice big plate of fry-up for breakfast, we trotted down to the pharmacy...bought a whole heap of stuff that came to a grand total of $117.

*shake head* Mere couldn't imagine why toiletries came up to so much...all I can say is - dearie, make-up is not cheap and the vitamins to increase your metabolism, well, it's nearly $40....so, c'mon!

After going to the pharmacy, we thought we might walk to my office to get my car...coz I left my car there last nite...so I could drink myself silly (as per usual for a Friday evening)...proved to be a bad move...for Mere at least...haha...see, we had to walk past a certain shop...that Mere absolutely hates...

This shop is somewhere I have visited at least 3-4 times over the last few months...looking for something in particular...something I can use...something I need...something expensive...

I mus say, I swear I expected that it will turn out to be another window shopping experience...but...

To Mere's credit...even after the issue at the pharmacy...he was truely the perfect husband :) He even participated in the super drawn-out bag selection process...the chinese sales-lady (all of them are chinese...Don't be surprised...who else buys this sort of stuff?) was really enthu abt getting me to try carrying virtually all the bags in the shop..in all colous as well...I felt pretty bad that she had to scale the ladders to reach the stock and after a while I told her not to bother...but she insisted...thank god I did find something I like...if not I would have felt like crap...or worse! buy something I didn't like....

Jason and Dana wld know how long I have antagonised over this...if I were to spend quite a bit of money on a bag, I wld naturally have to find the perfect bag...I have been searching for so many months...it's either I liked the shape but the design was ugly...or vice versa...

I have seen this bag before..it's a simple shape which I like, with the classic monogram (abit iffy abt the classic monogram coz I already have a wallet like that...)...but this is a limited edition piece...they have added a silver thread design to it...pretty pretty pretty!

Also, thank god for the AUD..it's superb performance against the Euro...I got the bag at nearly $300 cheaper than if I had bought it a few months ago...so, Cath, thank goodness I waited!!

I left feeling great of course...and happy that Mere was actually ok with it! You guys don't understand man...but Cath, I know you wld get what I mean...hahaha

The last funny bit to this entire story...remember the stuff we got at the pharmacy?..

Yah, in an obiang translucent white plastic bag...we were happily walking ard the whole shop with it...thinking abt it now really seems so funny...I really thank the sales lady today...for being so professional the whole time (how did she know I will actually make a purchase?) if this was back home, I don't think we wld have gotten the service that we did, considering I had no make-up and Mere was in a fugly, ratty, gray sweater carrying a bag of pads.....

Entry 2

Back for more of my rants eh?

I liken blogging to office politics ... cheap, nasty but in today's society apparently a necessity.

From this point forward, use the words, "blogging", "ass-licking", "brown-nosing", their equivalents and grammatical permutations, interchangeably*

To blog or not to blog ... that's not a question ... it's a demand.

To get accepted as part of the inner circle and climb the ladder of achievment we must have a go at blogging. Any "great" person these days worth (or believed to be worth) their salt, blogs.

Check out some of the websites of the biggest companies on earth (e.g. Oracle, Wal-Mart (world's biggest company btw ... take that Exxon!))and you'll undoubtedly find blogs in them from employee/bloggers trying to get ahead in life (or perhaps under duress...)

Question is, do you believe in ass-licking? and do you believe the sweet nothings muttered during a good brown-nosing? (check out the Basic Candy Buyer's Assistant's proclaimation: "There is not another company I would rather work for than MY Wal-Mart!"). No? And yet there is a swing towards using this un-edited, un-governed media as a source of information?

I've had to think about this lately at work ... to blog or not to blog? Is another rung up the corporate ladder worth my dignity, self-respect and friendships? Hmm ...
The pondering continues ....

Close entry.

footnote:
-if you've been too thick to understand *, my company does not literally have a blog ...

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